Someone does care!

I have met with my supervisor. Finally. And he is intersted in the topic of my paper! Shock!

Just one of THOSE days

Yesterday was just one of those days.

It started normal, and then slowly turned into strangeness... Maybe it has something to do with getting up earlier than usual. Half an hour can really make a difference.

So I stumble along to a day course on a new computer system. Yeah. 12 adults and a very young teacher. And he takes it slow... Very slow. I had time to do everything else, as well as paying attention. And one of the participants had only good things to say about a person there is nothing good to say. Smile and nod. And the evaluation question: "How do you rate your own efforts today?" (rather dumb question), just made it very temting to mark the highest grade.

After this was finished, I stole cake, not in a discreet way, to a friend in sugar need.

Cake delivered, I went to the grocery store, where the person in the check out line was happy. He even said "have a nice day" to every single one of us. Shocking.

Safely at home, making dinner, someone knocks on my door. This never happens. So I open the door, in the dark for some reason, and outside there is a tall thin man, slightly wet from the rain and out of breath, who did not expect that the door with Star Trek posters belongs to a girl. So he handed me a flyer, and stuttered something about the up coming election.

Later I was going out to meet some friends, on a normal Monday. This resulted in a person asking to borrow my phone. I have just gotten a new phone, so this was not an option. Instead I offered some money for a payphone. This was received with God Bless You! And many thanks. And many more God Bless You.

When she left, a man comes up to me, and wonders when the grocery store closes. Since we we're going on the same bus he strikes up a conversation. And follows me to the café. And when I'm about to go in, and says bye, he asks me if he can see me again this weekend. "No, I have exams, I have to spend my weekends preparing". Next weekend. "No, I'm not going out any more. I have to study for exams. But it was very nice meeting you. Bye".

Thank goodness the waiter was kind of a dish. And there was no more strangeness.

Run ins with the law

Ok, I got a new hair vut, which I absolutely love. It is "bubble gum pop", if such words can be used to describe a hair cut. And if you don't get what I'm trying to say, I just mean it's fun.

On my way to work one early morning, I was turning up to go through the park. I did not expect a hughe police car driving down the same way. So I had to stop, and let the police car pass me. So standing there with my fun hair and my pink headphones, I have nothing to stare at, other than the policepeople in the car.

It takes a time for the driver to manuevre the car down, 'cause its down hill, the car is a minivan or something, and the road is not meant to be driven on.

So I look at the policepassengers. And they look at me. Then one of them smiles, and waves like crazy.

And what do I do?

Wave like crazy back.

You don't mess with the law.

Duck and cover... and smile!

My life at the moment is not how I like it to be. It is quite the opposite. I want the old ways back, but I guess progress is enevitable. And sometimes progress is evil. Evil!

Without going into specifics, my life is, at the moment, filled with dramarama and conspiracies. So much so that I have material for a soap series for a year. And that is not how I like it. I can live my life without it.

But I guess some can't, 'cause it's not my dramas. It is other peoples' dramas invading my life. I don't want anything to do with it, but some innocent decision on my part (i.e. studying) has led me to be a part of it.

So what do you do?

My theory: duck and cover, and do it all with a smile and polite manner.

So far it seems to be working. So far. I must admit: I'm waiting for the bomb to drop. There is a lot of pent up anger here...

And just because people smile when they see you, doesn't mean they won't remember what they think is your fault in all of this...

So great... I'm in trouble.

With "friends" like these...

I’ve had my share of bad pick up lines. I think I might be a magnet for them. And even though you should think that the pick up lines came from a brain storming among mental health patients, few are. One of the worst was from a tattooed guy asking me about “the Pokémon” on my arm. I was a bit taken back. Luckily a friend of mine answered: “Yeah, isn’t it cool? It washes off”. Insults might work on him, but not me. Even though I think I’m close to being a dude, I might not be. Especially if insults works on guys. In my experience it doesn't work too well. But usually I’m not a picker upper, I’m a pick upee.

And just so it is said, this was one of my better ones. One where you could suspect there was some actual thinking involved. A process. Not just careless, and thoughtless, words falling out of a male mouth. To be honest, I don’t know which is worse.

But maybe it is just me. Maybe there is something about me that makes people think that an insult, disguised as a compliment, or vice versa, is the sure way to get noticed by me. And in that respect it works. The problem, for the speaker, is that they are eternally in my bad books. I remember who and what, though I seldom understand why. And I rarely forgive.

The latest addition to my list of "interesting conversation starters" (formerly: "pick up lines of another dimension") is a contribution from people I knew from far back, which I didn’t really care for then, and not really now either. A couple of those have felt the need to say to me: ”wow, you have become prettier”. Do they have a club? Seriously, it is annoying and rude, and it also implies, besides from not being pretty then, I am only prettier now. Not pretty.

These people judge me by one thing only. And I'm just too old to worry about what that kind of people think about me. And to be honest, again, I’m not really concerned about being pretty. It was never my thing, not then and certainly not now. They can have pretty, or prettier, and go tell someone who cares. For now, it is in my book. And I’m just waiting.

But is it real?

Once more I've been let down by actors I expected more from... Once again my theory of men being easy and slightly stupid have been confirmed. Men are not improving their image in my world, but I still believe, maybe against better judgement, that there are men with substance out there.

But another piece of gossip is doing its best to make me into an even more cynical person than I am now. Appearantly Shia LeBeouf is dating Megan Fox. And even though she is thin and pretty, she is a charisma black hole. Or, let me put it in a "please don't sue me" way: she is not my favourite actress. Him I like. He sounds like a sensible young man. Until now.

But then again. He is not alone. Not alone in seeming like a sensible young man, and not alone in liking Megan Fox. I read a letter sent to Empire Magazine, in which a guy confesses to having a bit unhealthy relationship to the cover of the last issue, consisting of a partly nude Megan Fox, and when his wife asked: "Do you want me to be more like Megan Fox?", he replies: "I want you to be Megan Fox". Needless to say, the wife was not impressed. And neither was I. She was not talking to him. I would have kicked his sorry ass out of the house, sold his belongings and burned his clothes. I'm a bit scary that way.

Sure, I might sound bitter, but it is just that I see those kind of comments as a sexist and a conformation that men are easy and only wants "pretty girls", girls with skinny bodies and who might not be conventionally smart... And that makes me sexist, and more cynical than I started out. And sure, it could be real love that they're feeling, but do we really believe that? (Again proving that I'm a cynic).

So, Shia LeBeouf is dating Megan Fox. I'm sure they'll have pretty babies, and an ugly break up. And in the meantime Shia LeBeouf have proved that he is one, of the many, men who wants "something real", and then ends up with a Barbie doll, forever proving himself wrong.

kinda like a dude, but essentially a girl

I just want it to be said: guys should stop complaining. Just stop. There is something highly unattractive about guys who complain. There is a certain whining about it. And if you listen to what they are complaining about, it does justice to those bar scenes where it is a recurrent theme: “My girl/wife doesn’t understand me…”.

It could very well be that the woman in question doesn’t understand, but there are several easy steps to rectify it. But that is not my concern here.

Everybody complains, and that is fair enough, because there are plenty of things to complain about, but to complain about things like not being allowed to see a movie, meeting friends for beers or something like that proves, to me, that you might not be with the right person.
And here is my problem: I consider myself to be “kinda like a dude, but essentially a girl”, and whatever guys think, this is not what they want. They like the idea, but in real life, not so much. This might be for different reasons. I guess that for some, it just isn’t attractive, even though it might be cool. And meeting a girl who wears the same tee as your male self, might not be a bad thing, it is just not the girl he is going home to.

I’ve tried a bunch of times to be one of five girls to a premiere who didn’t have a boyfriend. It is always fascinating spotting the couples. It is always fun to see the reaction of the guys when they slowly realize that girls who like this or that kind of films exist. That there are some girls who don’t have to be “forced”. They are fascinated. But for different reasons, they don’t respond. Are they threatened? Are they scared? Are they condescending? I don’t know.

I can’t even get a reaction in the comic book shop. Maybe I’m too much a dude…?

My conclusion is easy: guys don’t want girls who are just as themselves, only in girl form. They want someone who “doesn’t understand”. If only to have something to complain about.

Late Nite Freak Show

I've not had a very interesting life for the past couple of months. But some events seems to right the wrongs for all that's been missing.

I took part in a "Late Night Show" at Cinemateket. It's a nice thing, a concert film of some sort, and afterwards a free drink. My kind of deal in other words. And since I owed a friend of mine, after seeing a couple of Mark Wahlberg films with me, and handing in an essay I had written (to a very high strung office of exams), I felt I owed it to her. So, being a very good date, I paid for the tickets, and mentally prepared myself for an acid trip movie: Led Zeppelin - The Song Remains The Same.

I've seen it before, and I'm OK with Led Zeppelin. I'm not a big fan, but I'm OK with it. As long as I don't think about the lyrics for too long.

Then I'm told that the guy who has tried the worst pick up move on me ever is trying to get tickets as close as he can. OK. I can deal with this. Just breathe.

Mentally prepared for awkwardness, I show up for Led Zeppelin at their most weird.

The whole thing is presented by a guy I can only think of as a smart ass Don Johnson, as he looked like he had stolen one of Don Johnsons suits. He has a lottery for us. We can win stuff, just by being seated... I really hate that sort of thing, and had I won... No, let's not think about it...

After the amazing lottery, we are shown a short film of Led Zeppelin's first concert in Denmark, with a lot of "wonderful" camera effects. And this is when I should have known that it was going to be strange: a couple of people down in the front demanded that it should be louder, even after they were told it was a private film, and that the sound was not too good.

I ignore this, completely. Most of the time I have no idea of what I'm seeing or hearing. I'm guessing that drugs would have worked, but I don't do that, at all.

Then "The Song Remains The Same" starts, and I know I'm in for a lovely '70s flip trip, or whatever it is called. But in addition to this, which I have prepared for mentally, I get strange people. 2 stoners, down in the front (the same who complained about the sound) are singing along, playing air guitar, and air drums to many of the songs. Did not see that coming.

But what the film cannot give me, they could. I was entertained. I admit that. And I'm guessing the year 2009 is going to get better from now on, since they were not seated in front of me, or next to me.

And I met the guy, and his 10 year younger girlfriend.

As I said: Late Nite Freak Show.

Not angry, just disappointed

Yes, I am a bit invested in different TV shows and movies. This also means I get a bit disappointed over actors and actresses real life. They have it all. They could have anyone. And what happens? They make the oddest couples that you are sure will never last longer than a week. But that would be if they were regular people, with regular life. But since they are not, it will last for about two or three years, and then end in a rather messy divorce, on full display for everyone.

And that is what brings me to the gossip pages of internet. I admit it. It might be because I don't have drama in my own life, so I need to share in others. And I love to see who are now couples, and how long it lasts. And most of the time, I'm a bit puzzled over the combinations. Like Ashton Kutcher and Demi More, since I thought she had a little bit substance, and he is his character in "That 70's Show". Or Scarlett Johanson and Ryan Reynolds. They will probably have beautiful children, but I don't see how they will stay together.

And latest odd couple out: Chris Pine and Audrina what's her name, infamous from "The Hills".

I don't see it. I just don't see it. But than again, I might prefer a bit more substance in a partner than Chris Pine does. And I might be alone in this: but reality TV stars are not something I find even slightly attractive. In fact it does the opposite. I don't see the fascination. A person who has sought out his/her 15 minutes of fame, often in a very dubious fashion, and by exposing the bad sides of his/her personality and their personal self delusion.

But since reality TV shows seem to have no problem recruting, I'm guessing I might be a bit alone, both in being suspicious against the show in it self and its contestants. I know that Chris Pine is not a part of my group at least.

Just Maybe...

I think I might need to get out more. Among real people. Different signs tells me this. Exams are coming up, so I am isolating myself and watching to much late nite TV.

But even though it might interfere with my exams, I think I need to get out, and feel like I have a life. I know I don't have one, but I think I might need to meet people. See that they exist. And maybe, just maybe, learn to communicate with them.

What has motivated this change in me? I watched a episode of Star Trek: TNG, and saw klingon Worf utter some words of affection and love towards a klingon lady, and all I could think was: aaaaawww, that is so SWEET!

I think I need to get out more. Meet normal people. And maybe become one of them.